In the midst of college application season it is important to research every aspect of a school: dorms, dining halls, professors and cult-like magnet followings should all be taken into consideration. Florida State University’s “mag-lab” is a scientific development laboratory solely dedicated to creating and researching the world’s strongest magnet, and Tallahassee residents are convinced that it is responsible for the city’s hurricane survival.
Hundreds of scientists have spoken out rebutting the argument that the magnet has control over the weather. Their argument basically states that correlation doesn’t mean causation and that it’s simply a coincidence that Tallahassee continues to be dodged by hurricanes; but that doesn’t stop the people from praising it in the wake of hurricane Idalia, which swerved away from the city at the last second.
“There’s no scientific evidence of magnets changing hurricane patterns,” junior Amanda Gillon said. “Once they come out with evidence of its powers I could be pro-magnet but until then I guess I’m anti-magnet.”
The magnet has acquired very passionate opponents, as would be expected. The self-titled ‘magnet deniers’ have been known to become agitated to the point of pure rage towards the mere concept of the magnet. Their hatred is often generalized towards all magnets and can even expand to magnet-operated items, such as compasses.
“I think the magnet is a bunch of bologna, FSU just has lucky placement when it comes to hurricanes,” junior Bowie Linero said. “The magnet is stupid and I hope that the next hurricane takes it out so I’ll never have to hear about it again.”
Even more passionate than the magnet deniers are the ‘magnet truthers’ who see the magnet as an almost Christ-like figure that has come to save Tallahassee from itself. There are rumors of a testament for the magnet modeled after the Book of Genesis, however a copy has yet to surface.
“I am a proud magnet truther,” senior Finn Grieger said. “Its immense power and magnitude protects Tallahassee and all of its residents. If the mag lab works hard enough we can make a magnet that protects the whole state, maybe even the whole world.”
